Do you know how hard it is for an introvert who has spent most of her life working from home to accept that she may have to get out there in the world, in the big city no less, to find a job? Ohhhhhh, just the thought of it makes me nauseous. I don't want to be out there dealing with traffic and personalities. I just don't. It overwhelms me because its something I cannot control. Sure, I can try to control my own feelings but I cannot control the traffic, and I most certainly cannot control the personalities of others, that's for sure. People often think that because I'm quiet, I'm shy and I need them to talk to me. I'm not shy. I'm an introvert and I would rather them not make small talk. I had to get over this quickly at my last job. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with speaking, being cordial, and actually making friends, I just get annoyed by the people that start talking to me like they have known me for years. One coworker did that to me for months and I don't think she ever even knew my name. We were never introduced. Once I figured out that was part of her personality, I let it go.
Sometimes I wonder if it's a generational thing. I feel like the people who do that to me are usually in their 30s and they don't realize that I'm in my mid 40s until they hear me say something about having a child in her 20s and then they ask how old I am. I often get "You look good for your age," or "Oh, I thought you were my age." I chalk it up to good genes. My mom went to a new doctor when she moved back home and the nurse came in with the paperwork she filled out in an attempt to have her correct her age. She said, "On your paperwork you put that you are 71," to which my mom replied, "Yes, I know what I put." Needless to say, most people don't believe her age either. My oldest daughter on several occasions had problems entering my youngest daughter's high school to pick her up because they thought she was a student and would tell her to go to class. Mind you, she graduated from high school 8 years ago. My youngest has been mistaken for a younger teen as well, so yeah, good genes.
I personally don't feel that I look super young but I have met people who I thought were my age or older, only to find out that they were a few years younger than me. I've also met people who I thought were like 10+ years older than me, and they were only a few years older. I'm completely okay with looking younger than I truly am.
Okay, time to put in some applications and get this thing going. I don't know when this contract position is going to get off the ground and I'm not trying to sit around and wait any longer.
~Pamela Denise~
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